Timeshare Tours are the Anti-Chambers of Hell

Somehow on our recent Labor Day get away we were convinced that it would be a good idea to attend a timeshare tour.  I know what you are thinking (or yelling at the screen right now) but I have never been on one and they offered $100 cold hard cash, for whatever reason we agreed. 

The tour was described as a ninety minute event which included a free breakfast, not bad.  Starts at 7:45 AM, cool we will be back at the room by 9:30 and at the pool to meet our friends by 10:00. 

As soon as we walked in we knew we had made a dreadful mistake.  It would have been better to forfeit the hundred bucks and chalk it up to a silly notion. Alas we convinced ourselves that at the very least it would be a learning experience.  The room was packed with families.  Most looked confident going in, as if they knew exactly what they were doing and we were the only novices who were in over our heads, a feeling that always makes my stomach sink. 

Turns out the ninety minutes does not begin until your name is called by one of the smarmy, overly cheesy sales people.  In our case an extra twenty minutes of standing around drinking coffee so bad others were actually pouring it out (not me, I’m no coffee snob). 

Then I saw him enter the room.  A young guy staring bewildered at the piece of paper in his hand.  I could see him trying to sound something out under his breath.   He did not know how to pronounce the name on the page, had to be us. 

“Sharon and Jeff?” he called out weakly.  Our names are actually Shereen and Geoff (pronounced Joff).  He did not even attempt the last name. 

I let him off the hook without drawing any attention to his total lack of effort to even use phonetics, which for our names does actually work. 

His small talk was so well rehearsed that it flowed easily though he rarely made eye contact instead staring at my chest (which I imagine with the ladies does not go over so well).  He is “a timeshare owner himself”.  In hindsight I should have asked if he was subjected to the tour. 

The first hour was okay; not too exciting not to painful.  I finally had to prompt him about breakfast as our eleven month old had not eaten and neither had his thirty six year old father.  It was then that I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that we have voluntarily walked in to the anti-chamber of hell. 

With the hope of breakfast dangling before us on a stick we trudged on like pack mules through the gallery of marketing materials and sales pitches for a further fifteen minutes.  I prompt about food again, he moved us in to the dining area. 

No highchairs for baby.  No breakfast spread.  Only a small tray of miniscule muffins and donut holes.  Literally, miniature fare.  Not even bagels.  My stomach growled angrily. 

My wife struggled to feed a cranky, hungry baby a dry mini-muffin.  The tension grew.  Wife has no more patience and begins to plan her escape.  As she pleads her case to leave to go feed the baby the sales rep says that she could leave me there, go feed him and come back for me.  This way we could get all of the paperwork signed and she would only have to add her signature. 

Panic began to course my mind.  Did he really believe I was going to buy a timeshare?   Had I played the interested patron role too good? 

The tension hit the ceiling, we had to leave.  We were already invested for over two hours and so I told the guy straight, “we are not going to buy a timeshare today.” 

After a few back and forth volleys he says, “If you are not going to buy one I can no longer assist you.  Someone will come to close you out and you will have to take the shuttle back.”  Keep in mind he drove us over in a stretch golf cart on a lovely scenic tour of the property. 

I snapped back, “that’s great, we get a private ride over and now we have to walk half a mile to the shuttle stop?”  He scurried off in to a back room. 

This is where a timeshare tour is a lot like buying a car. 

Another person comes out.  Very friendly, very interested in us.  I cut them off after ten or so questions and tell him, “no”.  He is off to get someone to close us out. 

Another smarmy cheese ball.  Another series of questions.  Another, “no”.  Now he is off to get someone to close us out. 

Another smarmy cheese ball.  Another series of questions.  Another, “no”.  Now he is off to get someone to close us out.  (No that is not an accidental repetition) 

Now a kindly old lady comes out.  She is retired from teaching after forty years and “does not in anyway sell timeshares”.  What she does sell is a program that let’s you lock in the price quoted for one year.  More questions.  I finally had to get rude and point out that she is the fifth person who I have told “no” to.  She groans and finally leads us to the check out counter to get our cash. 

The shuttle takes another twenty minutes.  The final insult was watching numerous sales people departing on now empty golf carts and driving directly in front of the shuttle loading area on their way back to exactly the same place we were heading on the shuttle. 

We did make it to the pool by noon and were able to shake off the overwhelming feeling of violation that we carried from the morning (with the help of a refreshing pool and lots of drinks!)  If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself in hell after you shuffle off this mortal coil you will spend eternity on a timeshare tour. 

The moral of this story, only go on one of these if you are a genuine masochist or if you’re really are going to buy a timeshare.

Want to move up? Get out of your own way!

I find myself wondering frequently what differentiates those that achieve from those that do not.  Please note that when I use the term achieve it is meant to avoid any particular definition or criteria of success.  It should be interpreted as intended, success in the eye of the individual. 

For some this will of course mean earning lots of money.  For others it will be a gauge of sporting prowess.  Whatever interpretation you ascribe it is accurate. 

Are there those in your life that appear to have the talent to achieve but never seem to get out of their own way and let their talent drive them forward?  There are a few missing ingredients that leave the recipe bland and unappealing.  I have narrowed this issue to three missing attributes, without which people get stuck and wallow. 

First there is the internal issue of pride.  I observe again and again the symptoms of a proud person.  In our modern vernacular this is often referred to as ‘entitlement’.  The notion that a person is owed something that they are by their very existence entitled to have.  How often have you heard phrases like “if they want me to work fifty hours a week they’re gonna have to pay me.”  Or, “if they respect me I’ll respect them.” 

This prideful attitude often stands in the way of otherwise talented folks who might very well achieve great things.  Pride seems to be a growing epidemic among the younger generations evidenced by the near total lack of drive in the emerging workforce.  One Gen Y’r explained to me like this, “in older generations people thought ‘if I work hard now I can enjoy life when I retire.  In my generation they think I am going to enjoy life now and work hard later.”  The pride of this logic is apparent and yet it is an undeniable mindset of the current generation. 

Second must be a lack of self discipline.  All too often people feel as though they work hard but can never be caught studying their job or sport or industry during off hours.  They would never think to spend free time researching the trends or environmental conditions affecting their organization.  They would not sacrifice time to practice their craft when not being paid (see attribute number one). 

I have coached so many individuals who feel that their career is stagnated.  I advise them to surf the net on the weekends and find resources that will better educate them on the big picture.  To gain a deeper understanding of why we are doing the things we do and what organizations are leading the way.  Who we should be emulating?  Who are we competing against?  All too often when I follow up with these individuals I find that they have heeded no advice nor pursued any knowledge. 

As a senior member of the staff in my company there are few things as tedious and frustrating as trying to converse with a co-worker about our industry to find that not only are they out of touch, they barely understand our business and how we are positioned. 

Whether you are the receptionist, a department head or the starting quarterback you will not advance if you do not possess a command of your organization and its core strategy, this is not information that will be forced on you.  There is no spoon feeding in real life.  You must have the discipline to get the information yourself.  If you have ever wondered why someone else got promoted there is a great chance they had this information and you did not. 

The third problem for most is the complete absence of the knowledge that the work you perform is, at best, half of what matters.  The perception that others have of you is equal or greater a factor of your success than the quality of your deliverables. 

Your work could be absolutely stellar but if people believe that your work is crap how far will you go?  Conversely, your work could be shoddy but people think that it is genius; you will ride a rocket ship through the ranks.  Of course, the latter model is very difficult to sustain long term but be honest, have you ever known a co-worker whose work was crap that got promoted and wondered how? 

Now, do not go too far on this, you must do good work in general to survive, but the work only needs to be good enough.  Quality work is ultimately the foundation of a strong perception; however, it only takes you so far.  If you are not aware of the fact in your organization there are two realities then you lose.  There is the reality of the work performed in support of the outward mission of your organization.  But, there is also the individual maneuvering and politicking of self-promotion.  

This hidden layer of work life can be a strong negative force that causes significant reduction in overall productivity (especially when the leadership of the company suffers from issues one and two above).  A politically complex environment is certainly not ideal but is all too common.  Even in organizations that are not overly political there is a game being played on a daily basis one that you are omitted from entirely if you are not aware that is it even exists. 

When a person is not engaged in the game, whether by choice or ignorance, they have virtually no chance of achieving success by any definition.  How many people make the starting roster of the team when they do not even try out because they were not aware that the sport even existed?  There are thousands of tools available to develop political savvy though none are more powerful then the simple acceptance and awareness of the game itself.

I am not going to attempt to teach you anything about the game, its rules or how to win.  Please seek the advice of more learned teachers then myself.  I am only imploring you to acknowledge its existence and get in the game!  

In closing please allow me to summarize.   Get over yourself, get your head out of your ass and realize that you are being played if you are not playing (it seems so simple when you say it like that.)  Until next time…

The Blog-o-sphere speaks, and its breath stinks.

I feel that I should not be surprised, yet I am.  And I wish I was not disappointed but I am. In an unintentional social experiment I have illustrated in clear terms the gulf between early adopters and later comers to the new world of social media.

 When you listen to the `experts’ discuss the new age they speak of authenticity and inclusion.  They talk about socioeconomic barriers being torn down and the dawning of the age of true intellectual mind share.

 While I do believe some of that, it is impossible to ignore the reaction of the first true Blogite to offer an opinion on my blog (which is posted unedited below).  This message is of the type that many weary joiners of social media are afraid of; ultra judgmental, intellectual elitist rhetoric that in no way encourages the new blogger to post again or to continue on the journey.  No.  Instead characterize them in disparaging light so that those may be considering a blog can cower from the unforgiving oversight of the self appointed blog watch, those whose jobs it is to attack without mercy any who stray in to their sacred grounds.

 Please.  Return to your soap box and reboot.  The entire dream that is web 2.0 is that all will contribute, and that every person and every conversation matters. 

 Not surprisingly when the critic selects his sound bites (just as in traditional news media) he selects phrases that support his position and omits other counterpoints.  Please allow me to round out the story for those interested in balance.

 “This exposure to the real creative minds behind the movement has transformed me from an interested bystander to a seeking disciple.”  In most circles a seeker is not an expert and since I am admittedly at the beginning of this journey I also added, “…please forgive if it is longer as I travel lots, work more and have a family I spend all free time loving”.

 So in conclusion I wish to leave the critic with a toast.  Here’s to me and you, if we should ever disagree F you.  Here’s to me.

Inaugural Post

Hello world.  I am officially and inexorably entering the Blog-o-Sphere; a step I do not take lightly.

For some time social media and user contributed content has intrigued me as a proactive forum to both promote one’s expertise and increase business opportunity.  However, in the last 60 days I have been privy to presentations by leading online companies who are driving the Web 2.0 revolution.  This exposure to the real creative minds behind the movement has transformed me from an interested bystander to a seeking disciple. 

So far I am only convinced that there is powerful opportunity in participating but have yet to realize what exact form it will take.  It is similar to Neo.  He sensed something.  He know that there was more to know and see but could not articulate what it was.  He could never have imagined what was down the rabbit hole but he new change was coming.

At this point I sense the energy of the new world but I have not yet seen down the hole.  So I have decided to enter the conversation and see where it takes me.

I have heard consistently that the dialogue must be authentic, must be sincere and real and flawed.  I have been told that efforts to sanitize the conversation, to control the content is the death knell of any person or entity who wants to benefit from the web.  That will not be my path.  I will not fear the truth.

Though my intent is to contribute weekly, please forgive if it is longer as I travel lots, work more and have a family I spend all free time loving.  I welcome feedback and interaction so please do not hesitate.

Authentically,

Geoffrey Toffetti